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Hi! I am Michael Heath and this is the Pine Ridge Pastoral Counseling Web Page. Pine Ridge is a place for folks who are looking for the best mental health care but who are turned off by large clinics or impersonal facilities.
Since 1994, Pine Ridge has offered a distinctive and more personal alternative for mental health needs while providing a comprehensive range of psychological services to help individuals, couples and families deal with a wide range of emotional, relational, crisis related, life phase and spiritual problems.
Since I am both a state Licensed Psychotherapist and a nationally Certified Pastoral Counselor, I offer a comprehensive therapeutic approach which can relate to both the psychological and spiritual dimensions of life’s difficulties .
This web site is a great place to learn about my areas of expertise and to find answers to questions you may have concerning psychotherapy, marriage counseling, couples counseling, and other counseling related issues. If you can’t find what you’re looking for, please contact me and I’ll be glad to help.
Helping the people of Central New York since 1978 with:
- ANXIETY / DEPRESSION / OCD
- PTSD / SEXUAL ABUSE
- STRESS MANAGEMENT
- OBSESSIONS / COMPULSIONS
- LOSS AND GRIEVING
- SPIRITUAL CONFUSION / LOSS OF FAITH
- SHAME / GUILT / LOW SELF-ESTEEM
- POOR COUPLE COMMUNICATION
- ARGUMENTS / CONFLICT
- SEX / NO SEX
- PORNOGRAPHY / SEX ADDICTION
- BETRAYAL / INFIDELITY
- SEPARATION / DIVORCE
- MONEY / KIDS / INLAWS
Latest Blog Articles
By Rev. Michael Heath
Marital Mindfulness
You may know that the term mindfulness is very popular among psychologists, therapists and the self-help crowd. However, you may not have realized that marital mindfulness is important for improving initmate relations.
Certainly, the institutions of marriage and family have undergone dramatic changes over the past decades. And it is true that the divorce rate has consistently dropped as the average age of those marry has risen.
Indeed, being older and more mature helps couples to negotiate the challenges of a partnership. Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet – Bloomberg That said, over the past 50 years, other cultural shifts have made sustaining marriage more difficult, now than in the past.
PARENTS BEWARE: SEXTORTION
The horror of the Uvalde massacre has shocked our nation and left us shaking our heads in disbelief. Sadly, the news is filled with many other disturbing stories like Ukraine and inflation not to mention the endless threat of COVID. Because of the sheer volume of news, other important but smaller stories can go unnoticed. One such story was a parent’s nightmare which involved a tragic teenage suicide. Specifically, a seventeen year old boy was the victim of on-line sextortion. https://us.cnn.com/2022/05/20/us/ryan-last-suicide-sextortion-california/index.html?fbclid=IwAR04tYREBDYV-58DN7TwWvcg2mpuQYXw_1tAVdyTJzw9peSuQaCcIDlE5nI To clarify, although sexting and other predatory internet practices have been around for years, sextortion is a more dangerous scam which targets unsuspecting teenagers. ...
Being Present
I was recently in a seminar on polyvagal theory (Being Polyvagal: The Polyvagal Theory Explained – Windhorse Integrative Mental Health – Windhorse Integrative Mental Health (windhorseimh.org) and trauma when I was struck by how much the science which informs our understanding of psychological disorders has changed over the years.
As I look back to when I first began training in 1978, it is obvious that recent advances in neuro-biology have been extraordinary. In short, we have gone from thinking of emotional problems as originating in the brain to understanding that, in most cases, environmental trauma is the culprit. Indeed trauma damages the brain, specifically the vagal nervous system and hippocampus.
Nonetheless, scientific progress and innovative therapeutic techniques notwithstanding, the basic goal of psychotherapy has remained the same: To help people live more rationally in the present. Becoming Reasonable: Updating our Notions of Mental Health and Counseling. | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY (revmichaelheath.com)
Today, while the expressions of ” being present “or “living in the present” are widely used in the media and promoted by mental health professionals, How to Live in the Moment: 35+ Tools to Be More Present (positivepsychology.com) , what it actually means to live in the present is sometimes confusing.
Basically, being present means being able to be attentive to and to be aware of our own immediate experience. When our focus is on the present, we are then able to fully engage with others. While it sounds simple, many people have a hard time being present. With that in mind, there are two obstacles which prevent us from being emotionally present.
BAD IDEAS ABOUT GOOD SEX
It’s no surprise that most people want to have “good sex”. Unfortunately, many people report that they are not having it.
Over the years, I have found that, even among highly educated folks, much is lacking with respect to their understanding of sex and intimacy. 10 Myths About Sex That Many Adults Still Believe | HuffPost Life
Indeed, our culture is saturated with misinformation and myths which have created unrealistic notions and expectations of what good sex is or what is needed to have it. Intimate Communication: Tips for Talking to your Partner about Sex | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY (revmichaelheath.com) Indeed, unrealistic expectations about sex are the biggest obstacle to erotic bliss.
Therefore, let’s look at some of the bad ideas about good sex and debunk them with facts and accurate information:
Pastoral Counseling ?
Recently I was asked to do an interview to explain what pastoral counseling is. I was glad to talk to the reporter because, over the years, I have found that many people are confused by the term.
Of course, folks know what the words pastoral and counseling mean. The problem is that, when taken together to designate a therapeutic approach, the meaning isn’t clear.
For example, ministers, rabbis and imam’s provide religious counsel for their followers. Also, non-psychologically based efforts such Christian or Bible-based counseling offer services for a fee.
Perhaps the lack of understanding stems from the fact that, when compared in size with other counseling professions like social work or psychologists, the number of pastoral counselors is relatively small. Nonetheless, I believe that pastoral counseling brings an important perspective to psychotherapy which is particularly relevant in today’s over-stressed world.
Therefore, to really understand what pastoral counseling is, two myths about it must be debunked, i.e. that it is directive/judgmental and that it is only for “religious” clients. Knowing what pastoral counseling is not , we can better appreciate what it is. Specifically, pastoral counseling has two unique and distinguishing characteristics:1) its integrative world view and 2) its training requirements.
The Slap: Why we “lose it”
Actor Will Smith stunned America when he slapped comedian Chris Rock during the Oscars and both the news and social media went wild. Reactions to the incident ran the entire gamut from praise to disgust. Some saw it as a chivalrous act. Others viewed it as a disgusting example of toxic masculinity. Still others felt is was evidence of mental condition. CNN+ | Interview Club | Interview – Why the Oscars Altercation Between Will Smith and Chris Rock Was Such a Trigger
As a therapist I help people learn to control their dysfunctional impulses, It would be helpful to learn from this unfortunate incident and clear up some fundamental misunderstandings about anger. This event can be an opportunity to shed light on the serious but misunderstood societal problem of poor impulse control.
With respect to Will Smith, there are no ifs, ands or buts about it. What he did was wrong and unacceptable on so many levels. In addition, the audience’s calm reaction to it all demonstrates that the problem is much greater than the act of an individual. The whole situation is a glaring and a sad commentary about how callous and insensitive our culture has become to aggressive behavior.
To be clear, my concern, here, is neither to judge nor defend the man but to explain the psychology of impulsive behavior. Indeed, it must be acknowledged that. under the right circumstances, any one of us is capable of a similar reaction. Rather than seeing this as Will Smith’s problem, it is more helpful to view it as a human problem. That is, I want to explain how impulse control issues are rooted in the fundamental structure of our brain. Here are a couple of basic facts which debunk some common myths about anger:
On Feeling Overwhelmed
Given the Ukranian situation, skyrocketing gas prices and COVID, many folks are feeling overwhelmed. If you are one of those folks, it is important to understand that there is nothing is wrong with you for feeling over-stressed.
Of course, feeling over-stressed is nothing new. Indeed, human beings have always had emotional limits. Fortunately, there are many resources available online to help you cope.
To help you sort through them all, here is a summary of what you need to know about feeling overwhelmed and what to do about it:
On Leisure & Mental Health
I try to practice what I preach. And so, as I am currently on vacation, today’s segment is on the importance of leisure for mental health. Indeed, leisure activity does not command the respect that it deserves.
Unfortunately, for too many people, leisure’s health benefits are neither appreciated nor understood. Too many think of vacationing time as an unnecessary luxury or, worse, as wasting time. Think leisure is a waste? That may not bode well for your mental health — ScienceDaily
Today I want to debunk some of the myths concerning leisure and explain why leisure activity, is so essential for brain health and emotional well-being.
On Romantic Love
Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love and romance. Unfortunately, many of the popular beliefs confuse romantic love with true and enduring love.
Typically, romantic notions of true love mistake the magical feeling of infatuation with sustainable love. This conflation comes from classic literature’s portrayal of idealized courtly love. You know, the intoxicating experience of star-crossed lovers such as Romeo and Juliet. Sadly, these stories distort our understanding of what real love is. Worse, they have created unrealistic expectations for those who marry.
Today we are going to debunk at some common myths about love and, instead, provide some helpful suggestions to keep love alive.
For more recent and past Mental Health postings, visit our Blog archive.