Call or text (315) 380-1005 Rev. Heath Can Help!
For your convenience and safety, all counseling is provided via Tele-therapy.
Hi! I am Michael Heath and this is the Pine Ridge Pastoral Counseling Web Page. Pine Ridge is a place for folks who are looking for the best mental health care but who are turned off by large clinics or impersonal facilities.
Since 1994, Pine Ridge has offered a distinctive and more personal alternative for mental health needs while providing a comprehensive range of psychological services to help individuals, couples and families deal with a wide range of emotional, relational, crisis related, life phase and spiritual problems.
Since I am both a state Licensed Psychotherapist and a nationally Certified Pastoral Counselor, I offer a comprehensive therapeutic approach which can relate to both the psychological and spiritual dimensions of life’s difficulties .
This web site is a great place to learn about my areas of expertise and to find answers to questions you may have concerning psychotherapy, marriage counseling, couples counseling, and other counseling related issues. If you can’t find what you’re looking for, please contact me and I’ll be glad to help.
Helping the people of Central New York since 1978 with:
- ANXIETY / DEPRESSION / OCD
- PTSD / SEXUAL ABUSE
- STRESS MANAGEMENT
- OBSESSIONS / COMPULSIONS
- LOSS AND GRIEVING
- SPIRITUAL CONFUSION / LOSS OF FAITH
- SHAME / GUILT / LOW SELF-ESTEEM
- POOR COUPLE COMMUNICATION
- ARGUMENTS / CONFLICT
- SEX / NO SEX
- PORNOGRAPHY / SEX ADDICTION
- BETRAYAL / INFIDELITY
- SEPARATION / DIVORCE
- MONEY / KIDS / INLAWS
New York’s State of Emergency Ended as of June 24th 2021
As a result, all insurance co-pays, co-shares and deductibles for behavioral health services, which were previously suspended under the State of Emergency, will be reinstated. Please consult your insurance carrier for the details of your policy.
Despite this change, due to the increasing risk of the Delta variant, all counselling sessions will continue to be conducted via tele-therapy until further notice.
Latest Blog Articles
By Rev. Michael Heath
Self-Care and Protecting Marital Boundaries
Recently, the news has been filled by reports of sexual-boundary violations committed by politicians and other celebrities. Having just participated in a continuing education seminar on maintaining professional boundaries it is clear that a major factor in preventing problems is monitoring and attending to personal self-care.
Upon reflection, the same wisdom which applies to business and professional settings is also for marriages. Sexual boundaries are more likely to be crossed when a partner is not fully aware of or attending to his/her self-care needs. Couples who become more aware of and address their intimacy needs can better protect their marital boundaries and remain faithful.
While I have written many articles about fidelity and repairing the damage caused to marriage by infidelity, I now want to talk about : 1) What self-care is and how poor self-care increases the risk of infidelity and other boundary violations. and 2) Provide some essential tips for good self-care.
REDUCING TURKEY-DAY STRESS
Although we like to think that getting together for Thanksgiving is as wonderful at this Norman Rockwell painting, most of us know that it is not. Unfortunately, for many folks, these events can be quite stressful. Longstanding interpersonal conflicts and struggles over old grudges, politics or religion can spoil even the most perfectly planned events.
As if family gatherings weren’t difficult enough, Covid-19, has added yet another layer of problems with which we have to deal. That said, it is important to take time, to step back and to appreciate and experience the blessings we have.
Here are some tips to avoid trouble and make this festive time more enjoyable and less anxiety ridden:
FAITHFUL IS NOT ENOUGH
Fidelity is the cornerstone of a happy and enduring marriage. Nonetheless, since so many marriages are plagued with infidelity, knowing how to survive a breach and regain trust is a vital skill.
Sadly, many couples are without a clue. Many who have strayed are surprised to learn that, after an affair, being faithful is not enough to fix the relationship. Ironically, folks who come for treatment, who had stopped cheating, often express frustration and discouragement. They admit that they simply don’t know what else to do besides not cheating to win back their spouse.
Here is what they learned: Besides fidelity, there are three keys to rebuilding trust after an affair:1) Empathy, 2) Mindfulness and 3) Honesty. Let’s look at each more closely:
The Paradox of Fear
This year, as Halloween is getting back to normal, instead of being consumed by our fears of COVID-19, we can step back, reflect and think about our fascination with scary things. Of particular interest is the paradox between our enjoyment of being scared by unreal threats, on the one hand, and our avoidance and denial of real threats on the other.
We celebrate and enjoy horror movies and other things which can temporarily scare us. Yet , as we have seen in the large number of people who reject science and remain unvaccinated or refuse to wear masks or take other reasonable precautions to prevent contracting or spreading the coronavirus. Sadly, many Americans deny the reality and the severity of COVID-19. Although counter-intuitive, psychology can explain, at least in part , why this strange contradiction exists.
Domestic Violence Month
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. So, lets talk about some things that every one should know about it: What it is? How common is it ? How to spot it. What to do about it. How to prevent it.
A New-Romance Checklist
As more and more people are receiving COVID vaccinations, folks who have held back from dating due to the pandemic are beginning to loosen up and get out and about. Whether complicated by the pandemic or not, getting to know a new person romantically can be anxiety producing. Most people can spot a bad date and not repeat. But, after a few good dates, folks wonder and worry if the person who seems so nice, initially, will turn out to be as good as they first appeared. Indeed, there is a need for a new-romance checklist to help couples know if a new relationships can last.
Conceptually, knowing if a new relationship is workable is not complicated. Good relationships develop when both individuals have matured enough to get beyond individual selfishness and are able to commit to becoming a partnership. When looked at from this perspective it is possible to list fundamental skills and abilities which are necessary to sustain a satisfying relationship and reveal the needed level of maturity. Here is a check-list of behaviors to look for when your are out on a date. You can use this list to evaluate whether it is likely that your new relationship has a future. No relationship is perfect or checks all of the boxes but the good must out weigh the bad. For those who have decided that they want to be together, the list can help identify problem areas which will need to be addressed if the fledgling relationship is to thrive. Here is a partial check-list of essential characteristics to look for in your new romance :
Instagram Selfie Filters
I know that it is tough to keep up with all of the changes in technology but, there is one in social media that all parents should know about. It is called INSTAGRAM SELFIE FILTERS. How to Add Instagram Filters to Existing Photos – Followchain
Photo filters have been around for some time . (You know a feature which will put a deer’s nose or elfin ears on on your face.) What has put Instagram in the news, however, is their image enhancement filter . New research reveals that using selfie-filters is emotionally harmful (toxic) for teenagers. Sadly, these reports were hidden from the public by Facebook for years. Now that they have been revealed, here is what you need to know.
Specifically, the alert is being sounded for parents due to the negative psychological impact that some of Instagram’s body and facial altering filters have on teens,. i.e. use lowers self-steam and dramatically increases anxiety and depression. As seen in the pictures below*, the effect of the filters are restrained. They digitally add make-up, slim facial structure and subtly alter the overall image. Instagram Toxic for Teen Girls, Research Suggests – NBC Bay Area
The subtlety of the changes are the problem . The person who uses them is still recognizable but looks “better.” The damaging message that these visual changes give to the young people who use the filters is that: Your image needs enhancement or, inversely, the way you look, naturally, is not okay.
This message plays upon the vulnerability of young folks who fear that they are not attractive enough to compete with the social competition and will wind up being alone. Loneliness and the Human Need for Connection | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY (revmichaelheath.com)
Another factor which makes dealing with this issue so difficult is our culture’s emphasis on looks. The way media creates unrealistic expectations especially for women and heightens self-doubt about their appearance. In other words, features like enhancement filters undermines a teen’s acceptance of their natural appearance and encourages them to change {“improve”) it . That said, here are seven tips for parents to help their teens cope with this difficult issue :
SEXUAL TRAUMA and RECOVERY
Something significant is happening amidst the chaos of the current COVID situation. People are becoming interested in the psychology of trauma, As I write this segment, a modern classic in trauma theory, The Body Keeps the Score, sits atop the New York Times best seller list. Opinion | This Conversation Will Change How You Think About Trauma – The New York Times (nytimes.com) This book and its findings are especially important for survivors of childhood sexual trauma because it both dispels myths and false beliefs commonly held about trauma and offers important insights for recovery.
One false notion is the idea that trauma is just a normal memory about an unpleasant event. Likewise, many erroneously believe that some trauma survivor “hold on” to the abuse or that they could “let go” if they really wanted to do so. Indeed, the author, van der Kolk points out that the conscious mind is often unaware of the full extent of the damage caused by trauma and even worse it blames the self for causing it.
Although explaining what trauma actually is and does, neurologically, is a bit complicated, here is practical summary of the most important findings of his contemporary research concerning what trauma is, how it harms the survivors and how they can heal from it:
Defining trauma: Rather than simply causing a return of a memory of a bad event , ” When someone experiences a traumatic event or experiences extreme fear, brain chemistry is altered and the brain begins to function differently–this is called the “Fear Circuity” Neurobiology of Trauma (unco.edu) Here are some crucial ways trauma alters brain functioning:
COVID, Science and Anger
As COVID-19 surges, the number of angry people and violent incidents increases daily and is growing at an alarming rate.
Given this level of rancor, one never knows when one may be caught in a difficult situation . As such, in order to to know how to respond in when menaced by an angry person, it is helpful to understand some basic brain science about anger.
Here is a summary of what is going on in the brain of folks who have “lost it” and some guidelines for dealing with them.
For more recent and past Mental Health postings, visit our Blog archive.