Some Important Facts about Tele-Therapy.

Some Important Facts about Tele-Therapy.

It’s time to clear up some misunderstandings and provide some important facts about tele-therapy. 

For those who are exhausted by the social restrictions imposed by COVID-19 and who are seeking counseling, it is understandable that they would want to see a counselor face-to-face. Others have questions about tele-therapy and are reluctant to give it a try. 

Unfortunately, because of safety issues concerning COVID-19, finding a therapist who does in-the-office visits may be difficult at this time.  As such, I would like to clear the air and address some of these worries and misconceptions as well as to provide some important facts about tele-therapy.   

Here are some common concerns, advantages and limitations of remote counseling.

The Quiet Crisis : Adult children. aging parents

The Quiet Crisis : Adult children. aging parents

There is a quiet crisis spreading across our land which is not gaining much media attention: Adult children caring for aging parents. Currently, advances in medical science which have added decades to our lives, have also created unintended problems for those who care for our aging population.

Specifically, our increase in longevity has also come about in the wake of the disappearance of the extended family. These two social shifts has created new challenges for caring for our seniors and have increased stress, especially for those adult children who are trying to take care of their parents. While this is a significant cultural problem it seems to fly beneath the radar of most Americans and is not widely recognized.

The consequences of these changes and deficits is that adult children who are trying to fill in the care gaps for their parent are becoming physically and emotionally overwhelmed. Today I want to shed some light on this this growing crisis and provide some basic information to help reduce the stress in your family.  

Breaking out of the Sexual Doldrums

Breaking out of the Sexual Doldrums

Because of the added stress  of COVID-19 , many couples report that they are having less sex than usual and feel like they are sailing in the sexual doldrums. (see photo) So, today I want to share some tips for couples who want to break out of their sexual doldrums and perk up their physical intimacy.   Easy Ways to Spice Up Your (Married) Sex Life | Everyday Health  

To be clear, the word Doldrum is a oceanographic term which refers to a part of the ocean near the equator which is marked by the absence of wind. Metaphorically, doldrums has come to mean listless or despondent.  If your sex life used to be great but has fallen off over the past year, ask yourself:

—  Do you or your partner seem to have less interest in sex than you used to ?

— Does the very thought of having sex seem like too much work ? 

— Are you currently having sex less than once a week ?

If you said yes to any of these questions, your marriage may be in the  sexual doldrums.

Husbands not wanting sex

Husbands not wanting sex

It’s almost Father’s Day but, in addition to dads, men are also husbands. And since there isn’t a “husbands” day … there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed that does not receive enough attention, viz., men’s lack of sexual desire for their wives .

Although many believe that men are more interested in sex than their women, it has been my clinical experience for some time that this is not true . In fact, the number of men who are not having sex with their wives seems to be increasing.    Hope and Understanding for Sexless Marriages. (revmichaelheath.com)

The truth is, unfortunately, that there is no simple answer as to why men don’t want to have sex with their wives.  There are, however, several different reasons why passion may left the relationship.  (Since each situation is different and because there are so many different causes, each couple could benefit from discussing their particulars  with an experienced professional .)  Nonetheless, in general, here are some of the most common causes men don’t want sex with their wives.

Rebuilding Trust After an Affair: How to Maintain Empathy Under Fire.

Rebuilding Trust After an Affair: How to Maintain Empathy Under Fire.

This segment seeks to help couples who struggle with trust after an affair.  It especially offers guidance for the offending partner.  Specifically, the solution rests on the offending spouse’s ability to listen, accept and understand his/her partner’s anger.  Indeed, defensiveness by the betraying spouse toward his partner’s pain is often a major obstacle which blocks the offended spouse from regaining trust.  Here are some observations which can help explain why rebuilding trust is so difficult as well as some tips for how it can be done.

THREE KEYS TO EFFECTIVE PERSONAL JOURNALING.

THREE KEYS TO EFFECTIVE PERSONAL JOURNALING.

Personal journaling has been a big deal in counseling circles for a long time.  It is a mainstay for most stress management strategies. Even the military, after researching its clinical effectiveness, decided to use it to help soldiers who are stressed or suffering from PTSD.   Without getting too deep into the neurological weeds, personal journaling helps us to wring the painful  and irrational elements out of our experience so that we might be better able to rationally asses and address our emotional wounds.

Ironically, although journaling is talked about a lot,  for many there is much confusion and hesitancy about how to actually do it. Here are  three questions which are commonly asked  to help you have a helpful personal journaling experience:

When Mother’s Day Is Not a Joyous Occasion.

When Mother’s Day Is Not a Joyous Occasion.

For those who have recently lost their moms or for those who associate absence, neglect or other kinds of emotional trauma with their mothers, this holiday can be painful.

Apart from being aware of the fact that not everyone is excited about celebrating Mother’s Day, I wanted to share two thoughts.

Becoming Reasonable: Updating our Notions of Mental Health and Counseling.

Becoming Reasonable: Updating our Notions of Mental Health and Counseling.

Despite all of the progress psychology and medical science has made, there are many who still hold an outdated and misleading view of psychological disorders and their treatment. Common Misconceptions About Psychotherapy (verywellmind.com)   To be clear from the get go: 1) Most of the  people who have mental health issues are normal people.  Their problems  are generally caused by past trauma or by current stress or a combination of both. 2)  Most counseling is a process by which clients can expand their awareness of how their past experiences and present have combined to create perceptional distortions and irrational emotional and behavioral reactions . The impact of this expanded awareness enables individuals to perceive life more accurately and respond to it in a more congruent way. The lack of public understanding is problematic because it perpetuates stigma, confusion, unnecessary fears and avoidance of seeking help. Let me update and expand on two of the most common mental health myths.

BREAKING THE ICE: 7 Tips to Improve Sexual Communication.

BREAKING THE ICE: 7 Tips to Improve Sexual Communication.

One of the most important emotional blessings of marriage is the experience of true intimacy and trust.  Good communication is essential for building the trust which is needed to deal with marital challenges and problems.  Knowing and understanding our partner’s feelings, opinions and preferences are necessary to resolve conflicts , negotiate compromises and to make joint decisions and future plans. Sexual communication is an important form of communication which is often overlooked and neglected.

While we do pretty well communicating when it’s about practical and mundane issues,  when it comes to sex, there can be a  problem.  Sex is a tricky thing and difficult for many folks to talk about. Many have misguided feelings of guilt which prevent them from speaking honestly about their feelings or desires.  Others think that  their wants or preferences are abnormal and are ashamed to reveal them. Still others avoid talking about their frustrations or conflicts with their partner because they are afraid of either hurting their partner’s feelings or being personally rejected.
Fortunately, with a little help and practice , overcoming one’s uneasiness with and aversion to talking about sex can be accomplished. Greater sharing can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship. Indeed, learning to speak openly and explicitly about sexual matters with one’s mate can be a deeply rewarding and intimacy-enriching experience.
If you or your partner feel stuck in this area or have trouble sharing feelings or concerns about sex, here are seven tips to help you to get started opening the lines of communication with one another :

Easter as Psychological Metaphor: The Resurrection of Hope and Meaning.

Easter as Psychological Metaphor: The Resurrection of Hope and Meaning.

Easter is almost here but, to be honest and especially under COVID restrictions, it is not what it used to be. Even so, it still important  even though this holiday means different things to different people.  For some, Easter is a celebration of the coming of Spring. For others, it is a playful time for children and their colored eggs and chocolate bunnies.  For Christians, it remains a time of spiritual renewal and remembering the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Still for many,  Easter has lost much of its spiritual meaning. Indeed, there is no denying that America is becoming less and less religious.  A recent Gallup poll found that, for the first time since it has been keeping data, fewer than 50% of Americans attend Church.  For many , the narrative of Jesus literally rising from the dead is an insurmountable obstacle.
Does this cultural shift and institutional decline mean that we have lost our ability to experience important spiritual dimensions of life ?

I don’t think so . I believe that form many the conceptual framework for experiencing spiritual matters has changed from supernatural representations to psychological ones . To the point, is it not necessary to suspend your belief in science to experience the full joy of Easter ? Likewise when holy scripture is interpreted metaphorically rather than literally or as a historical account, the full spiritual significance still shines through.

Easter may be understood as a spiritual/psychological metaphor which conveys, symbolically, the fundamental affirmation of faith.   Apart from the improbable literalism, the Easter story expresses a profound psychological journey which passes through the devastating  experience of loss to the joyous discovery of new life and meaning .  That said, I want explain how it is possible to celebrate Easter apart from either supernatural or nature-based interpretations,  i.e.  how to appreciate Easter without myth.