by Rev. Michael Heath | May 2, 2025
I’ve been a counselor since 1978 but I have never seen anything like what has been going on over the past few months. People are calling me in the midst of panic, worrying that they are going crazy.
Fortunately, most often, a brief examination of their situation reveals that they are quite sane. Their panic is the result of being overwhelmed by non-stop media-hyped crises.
Specifically, people are freaking out over the impact of Donald Trump’s tariffs and Elon Musk’s chainsaw cuts.
I’m wondering if my experience as a therapist is a symptom indicative of a larger cultural problem ?
Cultural and Technological Stressors
Apart from the scary content of the news, there are two underlying factors that, taken together, explain why the news causes so much distress. 1) the decline of social connections and 2) the growing impact of distressing news delivered non-stop via smartphones.
Urbanization, characterized by declining religious and social groups, has weakened traditional social structures. Likewise, internet technology has reduced person-to-person connections. When combined, these changes have left us feeling less supported and more anxious. Americans Are Socializing Less—Is It Making Us Unhappy? – Newsweek
As our social supports have diminished, the volume of distressing news has increased. Instead of getting our news from Chet Huntley on the Six O’clock News, smartphones and computers bombard us with information throughout the day and night.
The internet and social media overwhelm people with more information than they can process. While life has always been challenging, changes in society and technology have made coping dramatically more difficult.
To make matters worse, the rhetoric in political and social media discourse has become uncivil and abusive. Profanity-laden political comments and unfiltered social media posts have increased polarization, mistrust, and emotional agitation.
Given these changes, it’s no wonder that, when disturbed by unsettling headlines, folks who have fewer places to turn for support feel more stressed.
Taking everything together, it is not surprising that a lot of people feel more depressed and anxious and less able to cope with everyday stressors.
Increasing Social Connection
With all of this in mind, what can we do ? Since May is Mental Health Awareness Month, it’s important to understand that psychotherapy, in addition to treating psychological disorders, also helps people to cope with difficult life stressors.
Besides effective stress-management techniques, people also need a human connection to manage their emotional distress. Fortunately, there is a simple way to experience social connection. While we can’t change culture, it is possible to create brief moments of social connection that can provide a needed lift .. BEING PRESENT | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse, NY
For example, the next time you’re standing at the produce section at the grocery store, waiting in line at the bank, or checking out at Target, you have an opportunity to engage someone and have a connecting moment.
Finding these moments makes you feel good and is also a gift for the other person. Here are the simple steps you can use to help you feel more connected and help someone else, too.
by Rev. Michael Heath | Apr 17, 2025
With Easter upon us, many take time to reflect on its enduring meaning. For Christians, Easter commemorates the resurrection of Jesus. Apart from Christianity, Easter celebrates the arrival of spring as new life emerges from the death of winter.
In past segments, I’ve written about Easter as a metaphor( Easter as Psychological Metaphor: The Resurrection of Hope and Meaning. | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY).
Today, I want us to look at the Easter story, not from a specific theological point of view but from a more inclusive spiritual one that expresses a longing from deep within the human psyche. Easter and Mental Health – Church and Mental Health
THE RESURRECTION STORY
We all know the basics about Jesus’s birth, life, death, and resurrection, viz. he was a man born of a virgin’s union with God, preached love and worked miracles, was crucified, placed in a tomb and, after three days, rose again.
For Christians, based on Biblical text, the resurrection proves both Jesus’s divinity and that faith in Him brings eternal life. Interestingly, these same elements are found in other pagan religions and myths.
by Rev. Michael Heath | Apr 4, 2025
Recently, I saw a meme (below) that stopped me cold. It deepened my awareness of how vulnerable gay and trans teens are. Worse, it underscored how deadly anti-gay/trans rhetoric and policies can be. The Trevor Project – Suicide Prevention for LGBTQ+ Young People
To be clear, higher suicide rates for gay and trans individuals are not innate. They are directly related to a culture that is non-accepting and abusive. Facts About Suicide Among LGBTQ+ Young People
Despite the gains made for marriage equality, attacks on sexually diverse individuals have recently increased. Specifcally, political rhetoric and discriminatory policies target transgendered people.
It is crucial to understand that the attacks against trans individuals are based on false notions and outright lies. Health Misinformation Monitor: Falsehoods About Transgender People and Gender Affirming Care | KFF
Even though the medical community debunks the lies, politicians and social media continue to spread them. In this highly charged environment, politically hyped paranoia undermines respect for medical science. gay rights | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY
Even so, people who support equal rights for sexually diverse citizens must not give up or give in. Given the potential harm, we must continue to confront each false claim as it arises.
To begin, let’s be clear about some basic terms:
— Transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.
— Sex has to do with physical sex characteristics.
— Gender refers to the cultural roles of males and females.
— Sexual orientation refers to what sex sexually arouses you. Answers to your questions about transgender people, gender identity, and gender expression
With these in mind, here are some of the most false claims that are used to discredit and malign transgendered individuals.
by Rev. Michael Heath | Mar 18, 2025
Many people have poor self-esteem. Likewise, many believed that repeating self-affirmations was a way to improve one’s self-regard. Of course, everyone wants and needs self-affirmation, but it is overrated as a therapeutic technique.
Self-affirmation was a big deal in pop psychology 30 years ago. Bookstores and novelty shops promoted it with posters and T-shirts featuring affirming platitudes. Likewise, business offices posted them prominently in waiting areas.
While there is nothing wrong with ego-boosting messages, the value of simply repeating them to yourself is limited. Remember comedian Al Franken? He lampooned and exposed the fallacy of this craze through his SNL character, Stuart Smalley, who began each day by reciting empty self-affirmations.
While, internet apps have pretty much replaced posters, the emphasis is still pretty much the same. SELF: Self-Care & Self-Love – Apps on Google Play Although, self-affirmations are not a bad thing, they can’t take the place of psychotherapy to repair significant self-esteem issues.
Today, I want to review some basic facts about self-esteem and explain how recent research in neuroscience has increased our understanding of how self-esteem can be damaged and why it is so difficult to repair. Within that context, the legitimate place of affirmations can be better appreciated.
by Rev. Michael Heath | Mar 5, 2025
Having just returned from vacation, it’s time for my annual segment on leisure and self-care. ABOUT LEISURE DEFICIENCY | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY, Specifically, I want to discuss the importance of NON-DEMAND NEURAL ACTIVITY (NDNA). NDNA is a conscious...
by Rev. Michael Heath | Feb 12, 2025
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY !
Valentine’s Day is a celebration of romance. Thus, it’s the perfect time to reflect on the complexity and mystery of love and sex.
While its name, Saint Valentine, has a Christian origin, the festival itself began as the Roman fertility festival, Lupercalia. While Pope Gelasius banned Christians from celebrating Lupercalia in the 5th century, the actual observance of St Valentine’s Day did not begin until sometime in the 14th century.
Apart from its historical origins, the meaning of the day is complicated by an ongoing tension between the different meanings of the word love. The Greeks had many words to express the different kinds of love. e.g.:
Philia or brotherly love
Agape, or love for everyone
Storge, or motherly/familial love; and
Eros, or sexual passion.
The real tension among these types of love was between eros and agape. (10 Key Things That Differentiate Love and Desire)
by Rev. Michael Heath | Feb 4, 2025
With Valentine’s Day not far away, romance will be in the news. While the 14th of February is a special time for many, for others, it’s difficult.
Although the focus of Valentine’s Day tends to be on women, the day can be especially difficult for men. One major obstacle to romance for men is the sexual anxiety and worries about their penis.
The emotional toll that erectile dysfunction takes on men is often overlooked. Because sex therapy and medication have proven to be effective in eliminating ED, many, including doctors, assume that it is no longer a problem. Likewise, because of embarrassment, many men avoid seeking help. (More on this later.)
So today, let’s talk about this overlooked problem. I want to share simple ways to resolve the cognitive dissonance of struggling with sexual anxiety on the one hand but not reaching out to get safe and effective treatment on the other.
To be clear, there are a number of medical issues that first need to be checked out by a physician. Things such as low hormone levels, certain medications, too much alcohol or normal aging can cause a problem. Causes of ED: Anger, Performance Anxiety, and More
For those who do not have a physical problem or depression (We will discuss depression and sex another time.), anxiety is a significant cause of erectile dysfunction.
Here are some tips to help with these common causes of anxiety that cause erectile dysfunction and get in the way of erotic intimacy and sensual pleasure:
by Rev. Michael Heath | Jan 18, 2025
Good communication between partners is one of the most important skills for married couples. Not surprisingly, it is also the most common problem for couples seeking counseling.
While there are different kinds of communication skills, the ability to empathize is essential for maintaining loving relationships.
Today, I want to talk about a major obstacle to empathy. Men, especially, struggle with what I call the “Wheel of Fortune” problem (WOF).
“The Wheel of Fortune” Listening
You’re familiar with the game show, right? Vanna White would turn hidden letters to reveal a familiar phrase. Contestants vied to identify a familiar phrase with the fewest uncovered letters.
In my experience, some partners, mostly men, think listening is like playing the Wheel of Fortune. In other words, they understand a conversation to be an exchange in which their mate presents a problem.
The WOF approach to communication is problem-solving rather than emphatic listening. From this perspective, the point of listening is to figure out a solution to a problem as quickly as possible
The problem with WOF is that, while partners may sometimes ask their mates for help dealing with a difficult issue or situation, not all conversations are about solving problems.
by Rev. Michael Heath | Jan 5, 2025
As 2025 begins, many will be thinking about making New Year’s resolutions. While losing weight, exercising, and cutting back on alcohol consumption, along with other self-improvement goals, are important, it’s a researched fact that most resolutions are not accomplished. In fact, the success rate for keeping resolutions is a dismal 9%. New Year’s Resolutions Statistics and Trends [2024]
On the contrary, studies show that overwhelmingly, people feel compelled to change because of external expectations and demands. What is important to understand is that guilt and shame are not effective motivators for long-lasting change.
Again, although people make changes for a while, studies show that to sustain lasting change, the motivation for must come from within. It’s like the old joke goes, “How many people does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only if the light bulb really wants to change.”
Data reveals that focusing on self-care rather than giving-in to external pressures or feelings of the obligation to change is the best way to make important changes in one’s life.
To be clear, self-care may not involve change or resolving problems so much as it does learning how to better cope with difficult situations that may not have a simple or immediate solution.
Although any significant change is difficult, committing to self-care is especially hard because both religion and culture are against it. That said, developing good self-care habits is not impossible. Here are some basics for those who are interested in committing to increased self-care: Goal 2023: Self-Care | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY
by Rev. Michael Heath | Dec 17, 2024
Now that the dust from the sensational United HealthCare CEO murder has settled, it’s time to reflect on the larger significance of these events. To be clear, there is no justification or moral support for what the assassin did. Legitimate social protest must never involve physical violence.
That said, the intensity of the “volcanic” reaction to Thompson’s death exposes the anger many feel toward private health insurance. This public outcry is pervasive and thus needs serious consideration.
