Don’t let this happen to you.

Research reveals that many couples are not having sex because they are too busy working.  The stress of work and the worry about finances has become so distracting that people have fallen into some bad habits known as the Romantic Doldrums.

For example, if partners aren’t vigilant, over time, relations ships which were once passionate and exciting can become stale and boring. Couples who used to enjoy sex frequently can wind up rarely sharing intimate moments.

While there are various causes, one major factor for this problem is a false understanding of what it takes to keep the excitement relationships fresh and alive.  Unfortunately, many believe that attraction “just happens naturally”.  While that may be true at the beginning, over time, maintaining passion takes care and effort.

Think of romance like a garden.  Without proper attention, bugs and weeds can choke out and ruin flowers.   However, just like with your garden, with care, your romantic garden will flourish with beautiful blossoms of intimacy.

Here are some simple tips to help keeping your sex life alive and healthy:

1) Don’t take your partner for granted.  Everyone needs compliments and little gifts and surprises that express the love and attraction you feel.       

2) Make romance a priority.  This means not only realizing the importance of you romantic life but also making a conscious effort to have special time together. Busy lives and responsibilities mean that the time to be romantic doesn’t just happen.  Scheduling and protecting times planned to be together is very important and is an essential part of maintaining passionate relationships. 

3) Get rid of the guilt.  Realize that you have the right to set limits and to say no to lesser important matters. Putting a “date night” in your calendar is useless if you don’t follow through and learn to say no. Sometimes folks forget and regard romantic time as a luxury.  It isn’t. Romance is an indispensable and fundamental ingredient for happy and long lasting relationships and marriages.  When you have made a commitment to your partner it is important realize that the joy you experience together is a blessing and an essential entitlement of marriage.  

4) Don’t Give Up, there is hope.  No matter how barren your love life has become, it is never too late to make it new again. It doesn’t matter that you’ve “lost that loving feeling”.  Some simple changes can have an amazing effect. With a little effort,  love and tenderness and a positive attitude the magic can return.    Enjoy !

Rev. Michael Heath , LMHC, Fellow A.A.P.C.       6 29 2017