Since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, I thought we could devote a couple of segments to help those who want to have more passion in their relationship. From the many couples I’ve worked with, I know that there is a lot of confusion and misinformation regarding this issue and especially about aphrodisiacs. So, here is the skinny on stuff that’s supposed to get you in the mood:

Since men and women discovered sex, both men and women have been searching for a little help re-igniting the flames of passion in their relationship after it had cooled down. Over the centuries, many things have been tried and many myths have arisen concerning this or that potion or food that has arousing powers. You’ve probably heard of most of them – things like oysters or chocolate or musk were renowned for their amorous qualities. But the truth is that science has not been able prove the efficacy of any of these legendary ingredients.

What science has discovered is that some foods, some smells and some alcohol can help with putting a person in a relaxed and good mood. To get into the mood, it really helps to start from being in a good mood. Beyond this however, the neuro-chemistry behind sexual arousal has more to do with the quality of the relationship and how one feels in the presence of one’s lover more than it does with any particular chemical reaction induced by a given substance.

And really, when you think about it, would you want it any other way? Aphrodisiacs are sometimes seen as a magical stuff that will make a person desirable to a previously unresponsive partner. When you think about it like that, it’s sort of creepy in a Bill Cosby kind of way. Alcohol may reduce a person’s inhibitions but it will not miraculously turn someone into a sexually desirable partner if the person was not previously attracted.

So, the point I wish to emphasize is that if you want more excitement in your relationship and if you want your partner to be more attracted to you, there is no short-cut and you’ll have to work at it. There is no pill or food or perfume that’s going to do the trick .

That said, the reward is well worth the effort. In part two, I’ll explain the psychological secrets to restarting the flames of romance and offer some simple tips to get you going. Talk with you soon.