Is masculinity bad ? Many young men are in crisis over what it means to be a man says Professor Scott Galloway during a recent interview on CNN’s Smerconish. Although Galloway has the data to back it up, very few are aware of or seem to care about it.
Galloway, who teaches marketing at New York University and knows a lot about social trends, contends that this masculinity malaise has put many young men in trouble. Scott Galloway: Young men feel abandoned by the Democratic party | CNN Politics
Men are falling significantly behind women in college graduation, jobs, and home buying. Worse, their suicide rate is the highest in 70 years. Suicides are spiking among young men – The Washington Post
Confusion in Context
In some ways, this confusion is understandable. It stems from the backlash women unleashed following the numerous high-profile sexual abuse scandals. The Me-Too movement’s anger, while legitimate, at times cast an overly wide net and intimidated men.
Many men feel under attack and that there is something inherently wrong with being a man. As a result, for folks under 40, relations between men and women have suffered. 50% report not having sex in a year.
What is difficult to understand is why so few, especially progressives, seem not to care. For example, Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris’s website lists many special populations of concern and does not mention men.
This omission is disturbing because it exposes an indifference to and a lack of empathy for a serious and growing problem. This attitude is ironic because most young men do not share the sexist views of older generations. Young men are not the enemy. They understand that traditional/abusive views of masculinity are unacceptable.
That said, what is healthy masculinity? To date, many efforts have tried to define healthy masculinity as being more feminine, i.e., less aggressive and more emotional. Frankly, many young men are confused about who they are.
Unfortunately, some conservative groups are trying to fill this void by attempting to resurrect angry, macho masculinity. In so doing, some openly insult and demean women, even a presidential candidate. Sadly, this approach is working with some alienated men. The ‘Empty Suit’ of Trump’s Masculinity (youtube.com)
Some Positive Role Models
Ward Cleaver
When I was growing up in the ’50s, John Wayne defined masculinity. Nonetheless, Ward Cleaver, dad on Leave it to Beaver, provided a positive alternative for what it was to be a man.
He was the leader of a traditional family, but his strength was not aggressive. He was thoughtful and, unlike the traditional male “silent type”, he talked things over with his wife and sons. Above all, he wasn’t afraid to admit or apologize when he was wrong. Leave it to Beaver | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY (revmichaelheath.com)
Although Leave It to Beaver reruns are airing on cable channels, their popularity is pretty much limited to the “Boomer” generation. So, who are positive contemporary role models from whom young men can learn?
Gov. Tim Walz , the Kelce Brothers
Over the past few months, two names have emerged from the shadows, presenting a positive image of masculinity for confused young men. While dramatically different, they both embody a fresh and positive style of manhood. Tim Walz, the Kelce Brothers and a New Era of ‘Positive Masculinity’ – Newsweek
Governor Walz expresses strength as protectiveness and service for his family and the country he loves. The Kelce brothers, while physically powerful men, also demonstrate that strength and emotional vulnerability are not mutually exclusive.
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Going forward, the needs of young men mustn’t be ignored. They have a problem, but they are not the problem. The problem was and is the misogynistic behavior of some older and powerful men. The generations of younger men must not be blamed or punished for the sins of their fathers, nor should an entire gender be demeaned.
Likewise, since we’ve learned the importance of gender equality, we cannot, in the midst of confusion, go back to the flawed sexual roles of the past. While some want to discount gender differences altogether, that is a topic we can explore at another time.
Positive Masculinity: Faithful Resiliency
What is crucial in redefining masculinity is to let go of the notion that the measure of a man is determined by strength and raw power. The quality of faithful resiliency, i.e.to persevere, protect and serve even through setbacks and loss, is a better way to understand what is manly.
Just as women have learned that being more assertive does not make them less feminine, men need to understand that being considerate of others, acknowledging their emotions, and not always having to be right does not make them less masculine.
All in all, Ward Cleaver got it right.
Rev, Michael Heath, LMHC , Fellow A.A.P.C. September 3, 2024
