Today I want to talk about the difficult and complicated problem of internet pornography. The proliferation of internet-based porn staggers the imagination and creates many problems for both individuals and relationships.
As a therapist, I have noticed a significant uptick in the number of clients contacting me for what they refer to as a porn addiction. While the term porn addiction is widely used, both the American Psychological Association and the WHO (World Health Organization) do not recognize porn addiction as a stand-alone diagnosis or psychological disorder.
Technically, the current diagnostic term found in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) for excessive and uncontrollable urges to masturbate to pornography is Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD). If a person feels out of control with porn or if masturbating is interfering with important aspects of his life or relationship, talking to a counselor can help. Understanding the source of their obsession and learning better ways to cope will relieve distress and restore control.
Sex isn’t the Problem
The key to understanding compulsive porn use, like with any compulsive behavior, is to realize that the behavior itself is not the problem. The use of pornography is an inadequate attempt to cope with an underlying problem. Thus, effective treatment requires both identifying and addressing the root cause.
For example, a person who abuses alcohol often uses drinking as a way to numb or provide relief from the pain caused by something like anxiety or a loss that they feel overwhelmed by and don’t know how to resolve. Once they recognize the problem and are confident that they have the resources and plan to deal with it, the need for alcohol diminishes. The same is true for sexual compulsions.
The last time I wrote on this subject was seven years ago. A Reasonable Approach for Discussing Masturbation and Pornography: Part 1 | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY(revmichaelheath.com) Given that misunderstanding has not declined, I wish to review and debunk some of the most persistent myths about compulsive masturbation and pornography. Let me be clear, however, while debunking myths, I am not promoting pornography. My only concern is that folks know the facts.
Guilt and Shame: The Cultural/Religious Complication
By whatever name you call it, the problems created by instantly available sexually graphic images and videos are a mess. Unfortunately, America’s cultural/religious negative attitudes toward nudity and sex in general and masturbation in particular make matters even worse.
Besides the compulsive behaviors, the stigma, shame, guilt, and low self-esteem surrounding sex muddy the therapeutic waters. To be blunt, many religious folks oppose pornography because it is connected to something they abhor even more: masturbation.
Traditional, religious-based approaches to dealing with pornography fail because they focus on suppressing the symptoms, e.g., watching porn or masturbating. In doing so, they often overlook the underlying problem that drives the behavior. Further, these programs often make things worse by increasing the person’s distress, shame and guilt,
As a result, in addition to treating the sexual compulsion, treatment must also deal with the emotional guilt created not only by negative religious biases but also by the false information about sex often disseminated by religious sources.
Clearing up misinformation is an important first step to understanding the larger issues created by internet pornography. Here are some common myths that need to be exposed:
COMMON MYTHS ABOUT SEX, MASTURBATING AND PORN
1. Looking at Porn Causes Depression
To be clear, neither looking at porn nor masturbating to it causes depression. Just the opposite: people who are depressed masturbate to cope. Pornography And Depression: The Connection, Explained.
2. Watching Porn is a Slippery Slope
Watching pornography is not a slippery slope that leads to violence or sexual perversion. The perverse condition pre-existed the porn use. Again, just like those who erroneously claimed that smoking cannabis leads to “hard” drug use, there is no research to support the claim that watching porn leads to perverse behavior. ( Is porn harmful? The evidence, the myths and the unknowns )
3. Pornography Causes Sexual Dysfunction
The research is clear: pornography does not cause sexual dysfunction, period. Folks who watch porn instead of having sex with their partners may be a symptom of a psychological or relational problem, but porn didn’t cause it. Associations Between Online Pornography Consumption and Sexual Dysfunction in Young Men: Multivariate Analysis Based on an International Web-Based Survey – PMC
4. Masturbating does not cause blindness or mental illness.
Okay, you already know this. But these old wives’ tales have caused so much emotional grief for men over the years that it is important to remember how extreme and absurd some claims to suppress it have become.
5. Masturbation is Harmful to Your Health
Despite all of its bad publicity, frequent sex, even from masturbation, is not harmful. It is a normal and healthful way to relieve stress. In addition, recent studies show that regular ejaculation promotes prostate health and reduces cancer risks. Ejaculation frequency and prostate cancer – Harvard Health
When Watching Porn Can Be a Problem
While it’s important to debunk false ideas about porn addiction, it is also important to understand that pornography, like alcohol, overeating, shopping, or gambling, etc., can be a problem. If you worry that your involvement with porn is interfering with your emotions, your ability to function normally, or your relationships, stop. Seek help and check it out.
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Perhaps because sex remains ultimately mysterious, people fear it or see it as something to be kept in the dark and not spoken about.
It is discouraging that, in this scientific age, so many continue to be influenced by narrow and negative views concerning their sexuality and pleasure. Too many folks have trouble accepting the real medical and psychological facts.
That said, despite the ignorance and prejudice, we must not give up. We need to persevere in our efforts to educate and eliminate needless guilt and shame about such a fundamental aspect of life.
Rev. Michael Heath, LMHC, Fellow AAPC. July 16, 2026
