Grieving’s 6th Step
I’ve noticed that, as we start the new year in the midst of COVID, many folks are struggling with loss and grieving. For some, the loss involves the death of family members or loved ones. For others, it has meant the loss of financial security. And, for others, COVID has meant the frustrations encountered in the loss of normalcy.
For many, the words grief and grieving are synonymous with the name Kubler-Ross and the five stages of grief. Five Stages Of Grief – Understanding the Kubler-Ross Model (psycom.net) What you might not be aware of are the important developments in grief research which have taken place over the past 40 years since Kluber-Ross’s publication. This research has significantly advanced our understanding of the grieving process and revealed that there is yet another stage of the recovery process.
One important discovery explains how the grieving process ends. Rather than finishing with the 5th stage of acceptance, research has shown that folks who have reported successfully recovering from serious loss have reported finding a new purpose in their life which has given rise to hope and joy about the future.
Counseling: An Update.
Over the years, attitudes about counseling as well as counseling itself have changed. While the stigma connected to counseling may have declined, many misconceptions about it still endure.
In addition, new research has brought significant change to both how we understand and treat emotional problems.
Today, I want to update your understanding and answer some common questions that many folks have about psychotherapy.
Thanksgiving & Stress
Thanksgiving is just around the corner and many families are busy with cooking or travel plans. Although this is a festive time of year, there are those for whom the season is difficult and filled with pain.
Sometimes the contrast between the Norman Rockwell painting and a person’s reality can be depressing. Indeed, having unrealistically high expectations may create unnecessary disappointment. https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/housecall-10-tips-for-coping-with-holiday-stress/
Besides the hype there are all kinds of reasons that can cause problems. Physical or emotional illness, financial or work stress, marital conflicts, recent loss or loneliness are just a few of some of the challenges that can complicate holiday celebrations.
Likewise, when extended family members or friends gather, long standing feuds and political differences may be a source of strife. So, today I want to offer some tips that can reduce your stress and increase your joy for the holiday season, whatever the problem :
Being Present
I was recently in a seminar on polyvagal theory (Being Polyvagal: The Polyvagal Theory Explained – Windhorse Integrative Mental Health – Windhorse Integrative Mental Health (windhorseimh.org) and trauma when I was struck by how much the science which informs our understanding of psychological disorders has changed over the years.
As I look back to when I first began training in 1978, it is obvious that recent advances in neuro-biology have been extraordinary. In short, we have gone from thinking of emotional problems as originating in the brain to understanding that, in most cases, environmental trauma is the culprit. Indeed trauma damages the brain, specifically the vagal nervous system and hippocampus.
Nonetheless, scientific progress and innovative therapeutic techniques notwithstanding, the basic goal of psychotherapy has remained the same: To help people live more rationally in the present. Becoming Reasonable: Updating our Notions of Mental Health and Counseling. | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY (revmichaelheath.com)
Today, while the expressions of ” being present “or “living in the present” are widely used in the media and promoted by mental health professionals, How to Live in the Moment: 35+ Tools to Be More Present (positivepsychology.com) , what it actually means to live in the present is sometimes confusing.
Basically, being present means being able to be attentive to and to be aware of our own immediate experience. When our focus is on the present, we are then able to fully engage with others. While it sounds simple, many people have a hard time being present. With that in mind, there are two obstacles which prevent us from being emotionally present.
Easter as Psychological Metaphor: The Resurrection of Hope and Meaning.
Easter is almost here but, to be honest and especially under COVID restrictions, it is not what it used to be. Even so, it still important even though this holiday means different things to different people. For some, Easter is a celebration of the coming of Spring. For others, it is a playful time for children and their colored eggs and chocolate bunnies. For Christians, it remains a time of spiritual renewal and remembering the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Still for many, Easter has lost much of its spiritual meaning. Indeed, there is no denying that America is becoming less and less religious. A recent Gallup poll found that, for the first time since it has been keeping data, fewer than 50% of Americans attend Church. For many , the narrative of Jesus literally rising from the dead is an insurmountable obstacle.
Does this cultural shift and institutional decline mean that we have lost our ability to experience important spiritual dimensions of life ?
I don’t think so . I believe that form many the conceptual framework for experiencing spiritual matters has changed from supernatural representations to psychological ones . To the point, is it not necessary to suspend your belief in science to experience the full joy of Easter ? Likewise when holy scripture is interpreted metaphorically rather than literally or as a historical account, the full spiritual significance still shines through.
Easter may be understood as a spiritual/psychological metaphor which conveys, symbolically, the fundamental affirmation of faith. Apart from the improbable literalism, the Easter story expresses a profound psychological journey which passes through the devastating experience of loss to the joyous discovery of new life and meaning . That said, I want explain how it is possible to celebrate Easter apart from either supernatural or nature-based interpretations, i.e. how to appreciate Easter without myth.
Home 2023
Call or text (315) 380-1005 Rev. Heath Can Help! For your convenience and accessibility, all counseling is provided via Tele-therapy. Welcome, I’m Michael Heath and this is the Pine Ridge Pastoral Counseling Web Page. Pine Ridge is a place for...
Myths about and Tips for Dealing with Grief During the Holidays
As the holidays approach, despite the celebrations, gift giving and merriment, many experience the pain of going through festive times in the wake of recent loss. Others are haunted by past memories of departed loved ones. Death, divorce, losing a job are just a few of the kinds of losses that seem more difficult at this time of year.
For those who are the friends and family of those who have suffered losses, the holidays can be tricky as well. Not knowing what to say or how to act often makes for awkward or uncomfortable encounters.
Here are some tips to help you and those your love better deal with grief and grieving .
The Importance of Remembering our Losses
Memorial Day can be an opportunity to remember those important people in our lives who have sacrificed for us and died. It also can be a time to revisit and review the pain and losses in our own lives and place them into a broader perspective. Looking back can be a powerful way not only to ease the pain of grief but also to discover the transcendent meaning and purpose in our lives which may have been lost in the wake of death and tragedy.
Bursting the Gun Violence /Mental Illness Myth: What the Evidence Shows
Given the stigma which still exists concerning those who suffer from emotional problems, it is important that the problem of gun violence and our rush to find solutions not result in exacerbating the ongoing prejudice which exists toward the emotionally disordered community.
Specifically, three myths contaminate and distort rational discussions about the current epidemic of mass shootings:
Folks with psychological disorders are dangerous and violent.
Serious mental illness is the primary cause of gun violence.
People with serious mental illness are more likely to perpetrate violent crime than to be victims of it.
